...everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Letting go of the control my flesh so desperately grapples to keep is definitely painful. It doesn't feel good.
I don't know about you but sometimes I get so caught up in my own thoughts, drawing my own conclusions, holding onto unforgiveness and anger, cherishing my own perceptions/assumptions and nursing hurts and negative thoughts that by the time I come to a place of admitting it all ... it is painful. My flesh really likes it when I get into a pattern that leaves God out just enough so I can go along in life fooling myself that I haven't left Him out at all.
I didn't realize I could be so good at it actually. I know just the places to go in the Bible where my current sins won't be addressed. If I'm holding unforgiveness in my heart or if I'm angry and just don't feel like giving it up right this minute or if I know the Lord has required a thing of me that I've ignored... I can still pray (on some level), I can still praise Him (on some level), I can still read my Bible (in certain places) without addressing my sin. It's true. You know it is.
But one thing I CANNOT do successfully (while in this fooling myself state) is worship my Lord. Not fully. Maybe it's just me. But I CANNOT.
Worship always requires my yieldedness. It requires honesty. Deep down revealing honesty and abandonment. Once my heart is willing and then yielded fully to the Spirit of God honesty is the result. Truthful honesty.
Wholly and completely in love with God and yielding to His love, His goodness, His mercy, His light... there are no words... It is Him ... as I worship Him He fills me up with His manifest presence. He floods my soul with all that is good and I feel I will burst from the brightness that washes over me. I've nothing left but to freely and without hesitation release all that nasty sinful ugliness I had just a moment prior thought was wrapped up so tidy in my heart for safe keeping.
Why? Why did I ever want to hoard it? Why did I ever let it get to the point of fooling myself that I wasn't doing just that? Sin is tricky. And believers are warned to strip it off/lay it aside as it can so easily hinder our progress* when we don't. Oh, that's right. My anger and my hurt is justified. There is good reason for me to nurse it. After all if I let it go I'll then have to forgive and release all parties involved. Nope. Not doing it. Not right now. It was too awful. I have to figure it out first. Then I'll decide what/if/when/how much I'll forgive. And the cycle of letting my flesh have its way begins. That's how it happens. That's how I get there.
The only solution is time with my Savior. Worship. Yielded to Him fully. Sweet surrender. Honest before Him.
Honesty is painful. Painful to my flesh.
*Scripture reference: Hebrews 12
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All-Time Favorite Chambers Quote
There are many things that are perfectly legitimate, but if you are going to concentrate on God you cannot do them. Your right hand is one of the best things you have, but, says Jesus, if it hinders you in following His precepts, cut it off.
C. S. Lewis
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.
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I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
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I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
Words not Lived are Words Alone
My worth to God in public is what I am in private. Is my master ambition to please Him and be acceptable to Him, or is it something less, no matter how noble?
Oswald Chambers
Oswald Chambers
Worship is giving God the best that He has given you. Be careful what you do with the best you have. Whenever you get a blessing from God, give it back to Him as a love gift. If you hoard a thing for yourself it will turn into spiritual dry rot, as the manna did when it was hoarded.
Oswald Chambers
Oswald Chambers
It's NOT...All About Me
You're Gonna Need Your Backbone
Please know I never intend to offend but it might happen as there is hardly anything politically correct about me. Of which I make no apologies. But I am passionate about learning and passionate about the Truth! In my endeavor of both I’ll be sharing a bit of ‘how I see it’ on this blog.
Who Else Has Something to Say
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Overcoming Depression.....11 years ago
4 comments:
i have been there, done that too! my mind can convince me that i am the wronged party & that i have the right to be hurt, angry, withdrawn, misunderstood, etc & etc. i don't want the Lord or anyone else to try & convince me otherwise, to require anything on my part since i am quite justified in all my viewpoints on the situation. of course, then i am left alone to finally figure out my wrong attitude & how i am only punishing myself mostly. the process is "painful" as you so aptly noted. but then comes that time, that moment, that encounter with the full presence of the Lord, where my vision is whole & clear from His holy perspective - resistance gives way to surrender and His grace allows me forgiveness and peace and redemption! the pain is washed away by the anointing of His love, and i am prepared to forgive as i have been forgiven! simple, yes - easy, no!! but possible - thanks to God's mercy & lovingkindness! good post & bless you!
I guess in the human sense we do have the "right" to be hurt and in many cases it is the truth as we know it. The hitch is that in Jesus and by the blood of Jesus we give up those things as "rights". One of the scriptures that has always struck me as so remarkable to try to imagine (and I refer to it often in these situations) is in I Peter 2... Jesus did not retaliate when he was insulted... when He suffered He did not threaten to get even. It goes on to say... He left His case in the hands of God, who ALWAYS judges fairly. (emphasis mine)
I am to consider myself dead to sin and alive unto righteousness.I am HIS bondslave. To please Him I must be His disciple... a follower of Him and His ways. That's what I want. And I want it by the power of God... rivers of living water flowing OUT of me effecting my world. Not just because I know it's the right thing to do. There's a difference. The difference (I think) is the LIFE OF GOD.
Anyway, thanks for your honesty, Geeg. Always appreciate the response. I know I tend to ramble. Can't imagine where I get that!!!! :-)
This is sooo good Cindy, this is just where I am constantly trying to be.
One of the things Johnny brought home from his time away was that he has to "die to himself" It's funny because now everytime a difficulty comes his way or he is dealing with some relational issues the first thing out of his mouth is that he is really "dying" right now. But it is so true - we have been so programed with what our 'rights" are and our needs - I am reading the book, "I Promise" right now and it talks about how in marriage it is up to us to change - we spend so much time getting mad and upset at other people for making us mad or upset but we have all the freedom through Christ to make a choice not to get upset or angry no matter what they do. One of the statements in the book is - "Unhappy people are people who depend other people to meet their needs and make them happy. You have the freedom and responsibility to change yourself but you do not have the responsibility to change anyone else."
You are so right we do go along in our Christian walk so many times just ignoring the big elephant in our spirit - but knowing it's there.
Thanks for sharing from your heart! It was great to see you the other day, wish we had had more time to talk. :-)
Kathy,
So nice of you to stop by here... I didn't even know you remembered I was here. I kind of forgot about it myself for a while. :-)
I love this quote... "Unhappy people are people who depend on other people to meet their needs and make them happy. You have the freedom and responsibility to change yourself but you do not have the responsibility to change anyone else."
It is not easy sometimes to be painfully honest but it is oh so necessary if we truly want that deeper place with God. He will graciously let us stay as shallow as we want to be but to go deeper we must give up the fleshly things that tie our souls to earthly things. At least that's the way it goes for me.
It was so nice to visit with you even though briefly. Let's try it again sooner than later. :-)
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